


you are in love (idiots)

by crocodile_teeth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, iwa really loves oikawa, oikawa really loves iwa, references to manga spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27828670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crocodile_teeth/pseuds/crocodile_teeth
Summary: tooru can barely handle the weight of silently being in love with his best friend. luckily, iwaizumi has always been the one to shoulder half of his burdens(basically iwaizumi having enough and confessing to oikawa and oikawa finally piecing it together)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 79





	you are in love (idiots)

**Author's Note:**

> hi, so this fic is based off an amv @santa.ana.winds created on tiktok with the song 'you are in love' by Taylor Swift.  
> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJ4hyPPC/ <\- link to that beautiful piece of art

When Tooru was small, he used to name the shadows that danced around his room at night. Realistically placed there by the headlights of passing cars outside of his bedroom window but as a child, their origin was much more whimsical. He would whisper their stories to Hajime long past the time they were supposed to be asleep. It was a game his best friend eventually caught on to. They’d lay on their backs, watching the shadows crawl over the room, taking turns assigning lives to them. The most fantastic, otherworldly, extravagant lives their young brains could come up with at the time.

Kings. Monsters. Angels. Aliens. A powerful, brave prince whose description suspiciously sounded a lot like Tooru. (“Of course it isn’t based off you, dummy. If I was going to do that, I’d make you a lizard person. Fits.”) A strong, fearless knight who had unruly, dark hair and a scowl so terrifying, it sent armies running for the hills with just one look. (“Iwa-chan, you ARE super scary looking but I think you’re too short to be a knight. Sorry!”) 

There was something sacred about nights like those to Tooru. Even now. At 18 years old, freshly graduated and sprinting toward something more terrifying than anything he’s ever done before. It had long since been unspoken that on Friday nights, Tooru spends the night at Hajime’s. Always taking up the entire couch with his long legs, depleting his friend’s entire stockpile of sweets that he’s tried to hide from the brunette about 20 times and filling him in on every single second of events from the two hours where Tooru had gone home to shower. On Saturday nights, Hajime spent the night at Tooru’s. Where he would be spoiled by the other’s mother, effortlessly destroy him in Mario Kart, (Except for Rainbow Road. Tooru always managed to win on Rainbow Road) and would manage to snag the good blanket for when they watched movies they’d seen a million times before.

It was routine. So incredibly comfortable. Something they never had to work to fall into because they had always been there. Tooru often wondered where ‘there’ really was. 

The first time he noticed it, he was in his third year of middle school. It was the year Tooru started getting confession letters. The year he actually started thinking about the fact that romantic attraction even exists and that plenty of people had it toward him. He always was polite. Smiled his best smile, thanked them profusely, and then apologized a little more profusely for not being able to return their affection. 

“I’m very sorry. I’m going to have to put all my focus into volleyball next year and that just wouldn’t be fair to you.” Tooru remembered saying that line to plenty of girls. He’d practiced it in his bathroom mirror to make sure it looked completely genuine. 

It bubbled up in him the first time a girl muttered the words “Oh, I’m sorry, Oikawa-san! This was actually for Iwaizumi-san…” 

He didn’t know why the words burned him. He wasn’t sure why his smile felt like plastic in the seconds following. He couldn’t figure out why the blush that girl drew out on his best friend's cheeks made him want to shove himself in between them. As much as Tooru didn’t like to express less enthusiastic emotions with the general public, he was still very good at identifying his feelings. This had been foreign to him. It was a sandbag tied to each of his limbs, dragging Tooru down to the empty floor of the newly torn hole in his chest. When he remembers it now, he recalls how many times he had to double check that nothing was physically compressing his lungs. He was quiet the entire walk home, barely listening to Hajime’s pathetic attempts at engaging Tooru in conversation. 

“Oi. Shithead. Earth to Oikawa. Jesus. Did ya have a thing for that girl or something? The fuck is up with you?” Hajime had said, waving a hand in front of Tooru’s face. His voice was soft. Genuine. Even with brass words, he always had a way of showing genuine concern. Thick eyebrows only slightly furrowed, making the characteristic crease between them disappear. Hazel eyes wider than normal, Tooru found himself staring back at his reflection in them. Mouth almost set in the stubborn way he was used to seeing; the only difference being that the corners of his lips were pulling upwards. 

“No.” Tooru had said back to him, voice much more honest than he expected. 

It was when their eyes met that he visibly saw Hajime understand something Tooru still couldn’t identify. Just like it was spoken to him. Like Tooru had spilled his guts all over the sidewalk. Not a word was said but the conversation they had with that glance told Hajime more than his best friend could have been able to verbalize. 

Hajime didn’t bring it up again.

A piece of Tooru wished he would have. Wished he would have taken every emotion he was feeling and strung it up in front of him so Tooru could read it too. He wished he would have sat him down and untangled the brunette's mass of jumbled emotions in front of him. It probably would have saved a good amount of time. Instead, Hajime let him take the slower route. Let him realize that it wasn’t normal for your breath to catch in your throat when your best friend’s knuckles brush yours when you walk. That it wasn’t normal to memorize every inch of your best friend's face when he wasn’t looking just so you could recount it later. That best friends didn’t look at each other like Tooru looked at Hajime. 

None of it was normal for best friends. When he had finally realized exactly who those things were normal for, his entire body shook and didn’t stop for three hours. 

It was kept unspoken. Sacred. Just like the nights they spent together that Tooru held so close to his chest. If it was close to him, it couldn’t be ruined. It couldn’t be torn apart by the inevitable distance they were facing. It couldn’t be shredded by Tooru’s sometimes overwhelming insecurities. It couldn’t be ripped up by the unavoidable change they were both about to step right into. 

Maybe if he was a bit braver, he wouldn’t be here. 

Staring up at Hajime’s ceiling from his futon on the ground, watching dark shapes move over the room. Over the rush of blood in his ears, he could hear his best friends even breathing from where he was sprawled out on his bed. Tooru wanted to smack him for how easy sleep came to him. Instead, he tried to soothe the monster that had taken up a home in his chest since the moment he met Hajime.

Sometimes, it felt like it would claw its way out, just burst out of his skin and force him to bear his heart to the other. Sometimes, he could feel it nearly gurgle out of his throat, three words ready on his lips. Sometimes, when Hajime would let Tooru slide into his bed on nights like these, pull him into his chest and not say a word when he felt Tooru’s shoulders shake and the sudden dampness of his shirt, Tooru swore he could empty himself so easily to Hajime. 

“Kawa, s’two in the mornin’.” 

The sudden sound made Tooru nearly jolt so hard, he probably would have gotten shit about it the next day. Hajime’s voice was thick with sleep and when Tooru turned his head, his eyes were half open as if not having them closed was painful. 

The setter glanced back at the clock before turning back again, propping his head up on his hand, letting himself have one single deep breath. 

“Did you wake up just to prove to me that you could tell time? I’m really proud.” Tooru whispered, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a smile that he was only half sure Hajime could see given how tired he looked. 

It was met with a mix between a grunt and a snort of a laugh.

Tooru’s smile curved up further at the sound. 

“Should be proud. M’great at tellin’ time.” Hajime mumbled, face squished into the pillow so his words came out a little muffled. 

The monster inside Tooru’s chest was banging against his ribcage. 

“I am proud.” 

Tooru knew he must have sounded incredibly raw given the way Hajime slowly, fully opened his eyes. The look he was given was one he always had a little trouble reading. He saw it the most here. When they were both illuminated by just the moonlight flooding in from Hajime’s bedroom window. Normally, Hajime only kept it for a few seconds. Never enough time for Tooru to perfectly read what it meant. This time, he held it. Deepened it. Dark eyebrows furrowing just a little bit harder as he stared down at Tooru. 

Blanket’s dropped down from his shoulders as he sat up just a bit, meeting hazel eyes just a couple feet away from him. Tooru wouldn’t be surprised if Hajime could hear how hard his heart was pumping inside him. He felt vulnerable. It was like the look Hajime was giving him was slowly picking him apart, filing through him, looking for something. 

“Iwa? What’s up?” Tooru whispered, feeling his insides squirm with the intensity of the look being thrown at him. 

At first, he wasn’t even sure Hajime had heard him. It didn’t even seem to register. He just stared down at Tooru with a wild look while Tooru stared back. In an instant, Hajime’s face softened. Hard lines smoothing over. Sharp features relaxing. Tooru recognized the vulnerability in the expression. 

“You’re my best friend.” 

Tooru froze. For a moment, he was convinced everything froze. Himself. Hajime. His lungs. His blood. Time. Space. Everything. It was only his own shuddering breath that reminded him that he was still most definitely alive. 

Tooru knew what that was. What those words meant. The weight they held. He knew because for the very first time since he can remember, the monster living in his chest was quiet. Jaw going a little slack, he watched as the tanned skin on Hajime’s face turned a beautiful scarlet with every passing second of his words hanging in the air between them. 

Hajime stood his ground. He always did. While Tooru was busy flitting around the constellations unreachable by anyone else, Hajime was earth-bound. A constant force for Tooru to gravitate back to just in case he strayed too far. This was no different. It was reassurance that Hajime wasn’t going anywhere. It was a reminder that what they shared couldn’t be broken by a time difference and oceans between them. It was an admission of love. 

Hajime is in love. 

Tooru kept his eyes on his best friend's face as he slid out of the futon he’d been laying in. He watched as Hajime silently lifted his blankets, making room. The setter crawled into the bed, laying down so close that he could feel the others breath on his face and their noses were nearly touching. Lithe legs fit themselves between muscular, tanned ones so well that if he didn’t think about it too hard, he wouldn’t be able to tell where one started and the other ended. 

“You’re my best friend, Hajime.” 

The words were quiet. Barely there. This close, Tooru could see every single freckle that adorned his face. He could see the way his eyelashes fluttered a little at the words. He could see the quick turn of the corners of his lips. The way his lips parted. Just a little. 

The silence between them wasn’t quiet. It was loud with the hushed tones of every “I love you” both of them have ever dared to think. 

The darkness coating the room wasn’t isolating. It was bright with every warm feeling both of them have ever harbored inside of themselves. 

One of Hajime’s hands found itself at the back of Tooru’s neck, curling his fingers in the hair at his nape softly as he pulled the brunette’s face closer. Their foreheads met and Hajime’s eyes closed. He dragged his long fingers across the ribcage of the man laying beside him, fingertips barely making solid contact. As if sensing the hesitation, Hajime’s other arm wiggled under the setters waist, yanking him so close that nearly every inch of their bodies were touching. 

Tooru let his limbs tangle up in Hajime whatever way they would fit. He wanted to bark out a laugh. He wanted to cry. He wanted to hold Hajime’s face in his hands and confess to every less than friendly thought he’s even had about him. There was really no need. Hajime knew. He’s always known. He had known far before even Tooru did. The bastard waited until Tooru was ready for the crushing weight of his emotions to be acknowledged. 

Tooru was in love. 

Eventually, when Hajime’s breathing evened out again, his limbs not holding any more resistance in them, Tooru pulled back just an inch to look at him while he slept. The sudden urge to whisper the secret both of them had kept under lock and key for almost as long as they’ve known of each other's existence started to boil over once again. Tooru didn’t bother fighting it this time. 

“I love you.” He breathed it out easily. 

Hajime’s face didn’t change in his sleep and Tooru didn’t expect it to. When he closed his eyes, forehead pressed back up against the other’s again, he didn’t feel as terrified anymore. The confidence in his decisions was slowly seeping back in. Wherever he went, whatever he did, Hajime wasn’t going anywhere. Neither was Tooru. They were in constant orbit of each other. One finding balance with the help of the other. 

Before sleep took him, he heard it. 

“I love you too.” Hajime breathed it out just as easy.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u to my bff Mars for giving me some nice feedback since this is only the first couple times ive written anything like this. i love u


End file.
